Your weekly poem: THE WAY IT IS

Your weekly poem: THE WAY IT IS

by | Jun 6, 2026 | Coaching, Inspirational, Mental wellbeing, Poem, Spiritual

🌿 A poem a day keeps the blues away… 

THE WAY IT IS

or our life’s thread…

🌻 There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.🌻

— William Stafford, from Ask Me: 100 Essential Poems, 2014

🪴 I heard about this poem on the Association for Coaching’s newest podcast on “Coaching Men” hosted by the wonderful Rob Lawrence (you can find the link to the podcast in the “Resources” section below). His guest, Will Johnson, is as big a fan of poetry as I am and referenced it, so I got curious.

There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn’t change.

🌱 It’s a faithful thread.
I imagine the thread to be fine, sometimes fragile, yet sturdy.
It’s faithful and reliable; for no matter the circumstances, no matter the landscapes it crosses, no matter the seasons, “it doesn’t change”

🌱 It’s a guiding thread.
It’s a thread I follow. It shows me the way, guides my steps, informs my decisions. And because it’s faithful no matter the circumstances, I know it can show me the way *in* as well as the way *out* when I need it.

People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread. 
But it is hard for others to see.

🌱 It’s a personal thread, unique to me just as I am unique to the world.

People may not always understand my reasons, the paths I choose, the decisions I make—they do not see what I see, because my path is not their path—and that’s OK.

While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.

🌱 Its promise of guiding us comes with a pre-condition: “Hold it”!
And if we’re weathering a storm—be it in our surrounding (external) or within us, the tighter that grip needs to be.

Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.

🌱 Doris Day’s “Que sera sera” comes to mind. There’s only so much in life we can control, predict, anticipate. There’s only so much risk management one can do. Life is made of complex intricacies; things we never anticipated; reactions we could have never predicted; connections we could have never foreseen; events that connect in ways that astound us…

So the only thing left for us to do is:

**You don’t ever let go of the thread.**

📌 What thread do you recognize in your life?

Are you holding it right now?
How close to the thread are you walking? Is it even in sight?
Was there a time when you let go of it?

🦋 Happy weekend everyone! 🦋

With love,
Dina 🫶🏽

Shnaider winning quarter final at Roland Garros 2026

Image of Shnaider landing that final strike that won her the quarter final against Sabalenka—taken at Place de la Concorde during my stay in Paris this week. An unexpected result, and I’m guessing a certain “thread” had something to do with it…

Resources:

Your weekly poem: ON CHILDREN & PARENTING

Your weekly poem: ON CHILDREN & PARENTING

by | May 15, 2026 | Coaching, Inspirational, Mental wellbeing, Poem, Spiritual

🌿 A poem a day keeps the blues away… 

ON CHILDREN & PARENTING

🌻 Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. 🌻

— Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931), from The Prophet

🪴 Last Sunday was Mother’s day. In my household, it tends to be a day like any other, which I don’t mind. In fact, the two people who wished me Happy Mother’s Day “proactively” were my friends Andy, Maryam, & my mum’s dentist, who had kindly offered to do a check-up on his day off after her operation…

🪴 As I was reflecting on parenthood, I found myself drawn back to Gibran’s words—a wise reminder of what it means to be entrusted with a life.

I love being a mum to my wonderful 16-year-old. It’s the most important and precious role I’ll ever get to play, and I’m immensely grateful for it—all the more so because I’m well aware that there are countless people who would love to be a parent but can’t. I was almost one of them… until I wasn’t.

🪴 Reflecting on what it means to be a parent also reminded me of all the important parental figures I had growing up. People I knew I could rely on, and who were always there for me, especially when my parents couldn’t. Sometimes without a family of their own, they became my parent and I their child all the same—not by blood, but by extension, by choice, through love. These wonderful souls also deserve to be celebrated!

🪴 I also believe in celebrating our children—every day! For the person they are the moment they’re born. For the person they become as they grow, learn, and explore. For every step they take, every fall they make, and as they stand up again.

I celebrate my daughter for the fresh perspective she brings—those youth-tainted glasses she wears that remind me of a time that was and of all that can be. The joy and pain of every first. The discovery of life’s promises. The carving of her own path into the world.

It’s an enormous privilege to witness a child’s journey—whether they are our own or not.

🎉 Today, I celebrate you and all your loved ones! 🎉 

🦋 Happy parent day ! Happy children day ! Happy Friday everyone! 🦋

With love,

Dina 🫶🏽

Image: My husband and I in Hawaii, 2012, renewing our vows a year and a half after our daughter was born.

Resources:

  • In celebration of YOU and all your loved ones, this week’s song is CELEBRATION by Kool & The Gang

Your weekly poem: WHY I WAKE EARLY

Your weekly poem: WHY I WAKE EARLY

by | May 8, 2026 | Coaching, Inspirational, Mental wellbeing, Poem, Spiritual

🌿 A poem a day keeps the blues away… 

WHY I WAKE EARLY

🌻 Hello, sun in my face.
Hello, you who make the morning
and spread it over the fields
and into the faces of the tulips
and the nodding morning glories,
and into the windows of, even, the
miserable and crotchety–

best preacher that ever was,
dear star, that just happens
to be where you are in the universe
to keep us from ever-darkness,
to ease us with warm touching,
to hold us in the great hands of light–
good morning, good morning, good morning.

Watch, now, how I start the day
in happiness, in kindness. 🌻

— Mary Oliver
(published in “Devotions: The Selected Poems of Mary Oliver”)

🪴 I haven’t posted a poem for a few weeks now. Life has been life, I guess, with its usual ebbs and flows. As I finally sat down to share with you a poem, I picked Mary Oliver’s book and it opened on page 171, revealing WHY I WAKE EARLY.

🪴 I think any analysis of Oliver’s words would defeat the whole purpose of this simple but powerful poem. It’s not just an ode to the sun, but an ode to our planet and the beauty that surrounds us. And it’s meant to be experienced rather than analysed.

🎂 I find it interesting that this is the poem that revealed itself to me today (Friday 08 May), the same day we celebrate Sir David Attenborough’s 100th birthday: someone who has dedicated his life to sharing the wonders of our beautiful planet with millions of viewers in a most iconic way. 

📌 So, instead of a question, I invite you to wake up early tomorrow and experience the wonder that is “morning” through all your senses.

🎂 Happy 100th Birthday Sir David Attenborough 🎂

🦋 Happy Friday everyone! 🦋

🌹 And Happy Mother’s day (on Sunday)! 🌹

With love,

Dina 🫶🏽

Resources:

  • This week’s song is What A Wonderful World, cover by Sir David Attenborough—an ode to our planet

Your weekly poem: ALONE—or no man’s an island?

Your weekly poem: ALONE—or no man’s an island?

by | Apr 3, 2026 | Coaching, Inspirational, Mental wellbeing, Poem, Spiritual

🌿 A poem a day keeps the blues away… 

On this blessed Good Friday, Maya Angelou’s poem ALONE came to mind.

ALONE

🌻 Alone
Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don’t believe I’m wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires
With money they can’t use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They’ve got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Now if you listen closely
I’ll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
‘Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.🌻

—Maya Angelou

 

Creative, resourceful, and whole

🪴 There’s a persistent belief in coaching—not sure where it originated—that clients are creative, resourceful, and whole.

I always struggled with that mantra, but it took me some time to figure out why.

It sounds amazing, and it’s one of those mantras we sure as heck want to be true. But the question is, is it?

Creativity and resourcefulness sit on a continuum—some have it more than others. But I do believe that we all carry a seed of both. How that seed develops, and how it shows up in action, will greatly vary…

Wholeness, on the other hand, is rooted in this modern-day thinking that we can be anything we want to be, and do anything we want to do, all on our own, if we only put our mind to it. Bollocks. No man is an island. And no talents are infinite.

Relational coaching practices try to tone this idea down by acknowledging the importance of the coach-client relationship, and the coach’s use-of-self as an instrument of change. And yet, we still hold on to the idea of “wholeness” as an individual trait, rather than a communal one.

Why are we so afraid to admit that each one of us has limits?
That no one can be everything to everyone.
That my talents have limits.
My creativity has limits.
My resourcefulness has limits.
My knowledge has limits.
My resilience has limits.

And once we accept that—that we, human beings, have limits—we start to understand that we can only become WHOLE with one another.

“No human being is ‘whole’ in and of itself”

🪴 And I’m not the first one to propose such a sacrilegious hypothesis. I attended a brilliant webinar on existential analysis by Kate Hammer earlier this year, in which she shared the following quote by existential clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, and close collaborator of Viktor Frankl—Alfried Längle, who said:

“According to existential analysis no human being is ‘whole’ in and of itself, even if healthy and with all drives satisfied. A human being as a person needs to transcend themselves and to turn to others (people, projects, tasks) in order to achieve existential fulfilment.”

Imagine my relief when I realised I wasn’t alone in my thinking. Which in itself proves Angelou’s point:

We need one another. We complement one another. We build on one another. We nurture one another. We protect one another. Fill in the blanks…

“Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.”

🪴 In today’s world, with the fires blazing across my beloved Middle East, Maya’s words pierce through the silence:

“Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
‘Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.”

Man is no island. Mankind is a highly sophisticated root system—similar to the mycorrhizal network—a Wood Wide Web—or in our case, a Soul Wide Web: connected, woven like a tapestry. Because when it tears somewhere, everyone hurts…

📌 Your turn… 

  • What do you know to be your limits?
  • Who completes you? Go and be with them!
  • What completes you? Go and do it!

🦋 A blessed Good Friday everyone! 🦋

With love,

Dina 🫶🏽

 

PS : all em dashes are my own ;).

Resources:

  • This week’s song is The Power of Love, cover by Josh Krajcik

Let go, and let God

Let go, and let God

by | Jul 3, 2021 | Inspirational, Spiritual

It’s been four months since my last post. Life somehow took over, I guess, releasing an avalanche of events and emotions, which are still unfolding.
At first, I thought I would write to you about what it is that’s been keeping me busy. But then I thought: each one of us is carrying their own cross. Why should my current circumstances be any heavier or more “special” than yours. So, instead of focusing on the events that have been keeping me away from you and writing, I decided to focus on the message life has been trying to teach me instead: Let go, and let God.

The messy truth

I like to think of myself as a pious person, whose faith in a loving God is at the center of her life. But I have to concede that this is more of an aspiration. A wishful state. Reality is much more messy.

The truth is that I’ve spent most of my life relying on my own understanding of things. Planning. Organising. Trying hard to be and stay in control of circumstances around me. And the older I get, the more I realise just how “out of control” life is, and the harder I strive to “be in control”.

The messy truth is that, while I long for a strong faith, anchored in a personal relationship with God, I’m far from either. Though I keep trying. 

The unpredictable scares me.

I’m scared of getting hurt.
Falling sick.
Pain.
Being at the mercy of medical practitioners, politicians, regulators, legislators.
The uncertainty of my decisions and their repercussions paralyse me at times. After all, how can I know for sure what the best course of action is?

There have been times in my life where I knew exactly what I needed to do. Not an ounce of a doubt in me.
Now is not one of those times. 

I so long to be able to relax.
Let go of all responsibilities.
Let go of the load, weighing on my soul’s beaten shoulders.
Let someone else take the reins for a change.

And the irony is that this is exactly what Jesus told us He would do for us:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
(Matthew 11: 28, NIV)

A beautiful flowing colorful abstract painting and the words of Matthew 11:28-30. Bible verse to comfort the soul.
Art and design by Sharon Cummings

Life’s teaching moments

Every experience, every challenge I have been facing this far, has been trying to teach me the same lesson, over-and-over.

Let go, and let God.

Years back, when I injured my back, my doctor told me that if I had let myself fall, I wouldn’t have hurt as much. Holding on made my fall worse.

My current joints, heel and hip pain are caused, among other things, by weak and tense muscles that are not letting go.

What is it that I am so desperate to hold on to?

Safety?
Security?
Protection?
Perfection?
A life without loss or pain?

I seem to be stuck in the hurts of the past, and the hopes and fears of a distant future; when my salvation lies in the present moment of what is. Not what was. Not what can or will be. What is. 

I am now due for a dental surgery, where I am at the mercy of the surgeon operating on me.
I have no control over the risks, and I was told there are a few.
I have no control over how well my body may or may not be able to heal.
I have no control over the pain that may ensue, and the time I will need to recover.

I wished I knew how to let myself fall – knowing that God’s net is there to catch me.

In the not so distant past

There used to be a time when I could do that – let go of all worries, and just
know that all will be well.

A time where my faith and trust in God was
unwavering.

That was also the time when I talked to Him every day,
like one talks to a long-time friend,
a loving Father,
and He spoke back.

I don’t do that anymore, talking to him,
or at least not as often,
and I wonder why…

God’s messengers

As I wrestle with these thoughts, God sent me two messengers.

A., a catholic nun.
God had sent her my way, six years ago, during one of my darkest hours, as I grappled with burnout.
A week ago, she sent an e-mail about an upcoming Silent Retreat she is organising. So I jumped on the opportunity. In fact, I am on my way there right now as I write this post, hoping that within that communal silent space, I find the courage to talk to Him again and hear His voice. 

B., my refugee friend.
She has been struggling with financial and health issues for some time. When I asked her if I can help her financially in any way, she said:

Oh no, I have all I need! Some people complain that they don’t have enough money, or not good health. But how can I complain when I know that everything that comes my way comes from the hands of God? I am happy and content with whatever He hands me, and I trust His will and His gifts. I know He is there watching over me, making sure I have what I need one day at a time.

Her faith both shamed and inspired me.

Let go, and let God

God wants to teach me to rely on Him. Not myself. Not man. Him.

He’s telling me that all my previous accomplishments, the troubles I got out of, is not because I did it – but because He saw me through it. And, Lord knows, I’ve put myself in some pretty big messes in the past. But His grace saw me through it – unscathed. Why would He forsake me now?

He wants me to trust in His will for me. Trust that He has my best spiritual interest in mind. Trust that, even if something goes wrong with my upcoming operation, He is a faithful God and He will see me through. Just like he did in the past.

He’s teaching me to trust to …

… Let go, and let God.

EPILOGUE

I am now sitting in the train, on my way back home from the Silent Retreat.
I feel gifted and carried.
And I feel the need to share with you some of what I was gifted with.

Here is what I wrote (unedited) after my first meditation time in the morning:

I am still and at peace inside.
I bask in the warmth of His embrace and comfort.
I feel calm for I know He has been guiding me through past events,
for whatever lies ahead of me,
however scary it may see,
will bring me goodness.
I rely on His will for me;
His plan for me;
not mine.
There is also a sense of gratitude and comfort in me
to be surrounded by others who share in the love of Jesus,
and long for His voice and presence, as I do.
Their community,
even if in silence,
consoles my soul and
fills it with peace.

Landscape picture over the ocean and cliffs with verses 1-2 of Psalm 18

Later on, we meditated on Psalm 18, and I chose the following verses to meditate on:

“I love you, Lord, my strength.
The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;
my God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.”
(Psalm 18, 1-2, NIV)

Ocean picture from under water with verse 16 from Psalm 18

And later on, as we were closing the day,  I meditated on the verse:

“He reached down from on high and took hold of me (…)
You, Lord, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.“
(Psalm 18, 16; 28, NIV)

At peace

I just sat there, with those Psalm words, in silence, with God.
And I could feel Him, carrying me
like a Father carries His daughter.
I felt Him around me – embracing me.
And tears started flowing.
Tears of joy, and relief,
knowing He is here, and that
He loves me. 

I can finally let go, and let God take the reins of my life.

I no longer feel the need to be in control, for He is. 

An abstract blue background with verses 28-29 from Psalm 18

POST-EPILOGUE

I felt the need to close the loop. End the story so to speak. It’s a happy ending, although not without its set of challenges, pain and doubts.

God was faithful and supported me through my operation, and offered relief when I was most in pain. He was also faithful after the operation as I was recovering. But then came an infection, and my doubts and fears re-surfaced.

Over the years, in moments when I needed to hear God’s voice – when I needed an answer – I would go knocking at His door.
How you ask?
I would talk to Him, share with him my worry – doubts – question – fear – and ask him for guidance.
How does He guide me?
Through His word.
The Bible.
After I’ve opened my heart to Him, I would open my Bible App, close my eyes and click with my finger there where my spirit guides me:
a Bible Chapter.
a Verse.

On that day, when the infection was spreading and pain started to re-surface, that’s exactly what I did.
And His Spirit guided me to Tobit 5:13.
Tobit had been blinded and frustrated, if not somewhat bitter, over his fate. When the Angel of God came into his home one day, greeting him saying “May gladness be always with you” – Tobit answers: “What kind of gladness will be for me, since I sit in darkness and do not see the light of heaven?” And so the Angel responds to him with verse 13:

“Be steadfast in soul. Your cure from God is near.”
(Tobit 5:13, KJV)

And so it was. Not just for Tobit. Also for me.

Mountaneous landscape with a woman standing at one edge and the inscription of Proverbs 3: 5-6

Recommended resources: 

“You will never make it without anti-depressants” she said. (part II)

“You will never make it without anti-depressants” she said. (part II)

by | Mar 8, 2021 | Inspirational, Mental wellbeing, Spiritual

In my first post titled “You will never make it without anti-depressants” (part I), I spoke to you about my burnout and what helped me through it. And for three years, I felt content, complete, and hopeful that I would never have to go through something like this again.

All was Quiet On The Western Front… 

… until the day I found myself in London (UK), attending a Stress Management class.

Thirty minutes into the session, the building started shaking. The instructor explained we had nothing to fear – they were digging in a nearby site and all was safe. 

By mid-day, my hands felt cold as ice. So, I wrapped myself in my jacket and scarf. I was freezing, even though my fellow training participants seemed comfortable in their light autumn garments.  Throughout the day, I felt a general sense of unease, and was relieved when the day was finally over and I could get back to my hotel room.

 

A yellow I want you to panic! sign on wooden background.
Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels

Panic attack

As soon as I got into my room on the ground floor, I started having palpitations. My heart was racing. My chest was tight. My breathing was fast and shallow. I felt dizzy, and my mind was in a haze… 

I was having a panic attack. 

I tried to calm my mind. Tell myself that I was safe. Take deep breaths. To no avail. My body was hijacked in a flurry of panic and confusion. Followed by a flood of diarrhoea. I was scared. Confused. My legs felt weak. No matter how I tried to reason with my body that all was well – it wouldn’t listen. It was on overdrive, and I had no means to control it. 

I felt like I was losing my mind. 

I called my international health provider who suggested I go to a nearby clinic – but what for? I knew there was nothing physically wrong with me. I didn’t need a Doctor. I needed a comforter. 

So I called my mom. 

I told her what was happening, and she stayed with me on the phone for over an hour. Soothing me. Praying for me. Until it was time to go to bed. 

Eventually, the heart palpitations slowed down, and I was able to fall asleep. But it was a bumpy night, mainly because I was afraif of having another panic attack in the middle of the night.

The next day

When I woke up the next day, the sheer idea of having to go back to that training building made my stomach churn. So, I re-scheduled my flight for one leaving that same day in the afternoon, and I told my teachers I was unwell and won’t be coming back to class. Then I checked-out and headed to a nearby park. 

Being in nature has always had a calming effect on me. I sat on the green grass. Watched the tree leaves flutter in the wind. Gazed at the sky. Breathed and prayed. Then I dragged myself on the Tube to the airport, and somehow made it through the flight back home. 

The whole day I spent in fear of a second panic attack, which never materialised. 

I had never had a panic attack before – not even during my burnout. And the irony that all of this happened while being on a STRESS MANAGEMENT class was not lost on me!

It’s uncomfortable, but not dangerous

While I never had another panic attack, that incident shook me at my core, and I found myself falling into a mini-depression for about a month. Once again, I was reminded of just how fragile I was, and how temporary feelings of anxiety or even depression will most likely keep coming in and out of my life. The Yin to my Yang …

I went to see my former psychotherapist.

She explained to me how panic attacks work, and reassured me that they ALWAYS pass. In fact, she said that people who get frequent panic attacks are better off waiting it out rather then combatting it with medication or even trying to “rationalise” the experience as I did in my hotel room.
“When you allow the body to go through the full panic cycle naturally (also called “flooding”), panic attacks can stop after 10-20 minutes vs. hours (as in my case)”, she said. “Often, they don’t come back. And if they do, they become less intense and less frequent” (here an insightful video by Dr. Harry Barry on the subject).

I felt a huge sense of relief to know that panic attacks, while very uncomfortable, are not dangerous, and that they always pass. 

Christ Church Cathedral in Christchurch, New Zealand
Christ Church in Christchurch, New Zealand

An old trauma revived

As I explored with my therapist the possible reasons for my panic attack, I realised that two main factors had contributed to that moment. 

1. The shaking classroom in London had revived in me an old trauma. 

In 2012, I woke up in a hotel room in Christchurch, New Zealand, to a thundering rumble and a building that was swinging like it was made out of cardboard. I grabbed our baby daughter, who was asleep next to me, in panic, and together with my husband we ran outside. The earth under our feet and everything around us was rattling. I held our daughter ever so tightly. 

It was New Year’s Eve. 

We kept experiencing one after-shock after the other that day. Massive black stones roared as old church buildings shook. I remember feeling a general sense of panic and fear all day, and throughout the night. Thankfully, my husband remained calm and composed through it all. 

2. Counselling employees on long-term sick leave.

Working as a Case Manager and Counsellor that year seemed to have taken a toll on me. While I loved and deeply cared for my work and my clients, I had to come to the conclusion that my high sense of empathy was a double-edged sword. My inability to keep a healthy boundary between my clients’ heart-wrenching life stories and my own, was pulling me down into a rabbit hole I knew I did not want to lose myself in. 

Hard decisions were in order

I worked on my old Christchurch trauma with my therapist.

I told my counselling managers that I will not be extending my temporary counselling assignment for another 6 months. Instead, I would stop by end of year as originally planned. 

And, after a long soul searching, and with the support of my coaching supervisor, I decided not to pursue my second year diploma in Coaching. It would have implied flying back to the UK within four weeks, while I was still feeling shaken. Not to mention the long nights studying and writing assignments that I knew were awaiting me.

I was yet again trying to do too much… I needed to be kind to myself and set priorities.

Highlighted Bible verse in Bible Romans 8:28: And we know that all things work together for good to them who love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose

All things come together for the good

This is one of my favourite Bible verses:

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28

Did I enjoy having a panic attack? Definitely not! But it ended up being my saving grace in many ways: 

1. It allowed me to start a healing process of my Christchurch trauma. 

2. It saved me from 6 months of turmoil and heartache, had I accepted that counselling assignment extension. A series of unfortunate events led to the dismantling of that team at the end of December, a few days before Christmas. Had I extended my assignment, I would have found myself in a very unfortunate and miserable situation. 

3. Thanks to a highly empathetic school director, I was able to pass my Stress Management class remotely. 

4. Instead of pursuing another general diploma, I got to focus my time and energy on specialised coaching trainings instead, such as Strengths coaching, Gestalt coaching, Team coaching and Non-Violent Communication. This turned out to be the more appropriate and fruitful path for me, and I’ve never regretted my decision. 

5. Finally, all of the above allowed me to pursue a new career path as an individual-, strength- and team- coach, and workshop facilitator.

Once again, God had proven himself faithful and merciful unto me and my family. 

One day at a time

The old me would have been very harsh on myself – judging every one of my decisions as a Loser’s decision. A Coward’s decision.

How can you give up so quickly – what’s wrong with you? 

What do you mean you’re taking an earlier flight and dropping a class you’ve been looking forward to for months? 

What do you mean you’re giving up on your counselling dream and not extend your stay with the team?

What do you mean you’re going to withdraw your coaching diploma application – which you already paid for by the way?!

But the truth is: Not taking the decisions I took would have been the real act of cowardice.

Not listening to my body and what the panic attack was trying to communicate to me would have been foolish.

By listening to my gut, and doing what felt right deep within my soul, I not only honoured my needs at the time, but it also led me on an alternative path. A path which tunred out to be much more fulfilling than my original plan.

It’s now been three years since my panic attack, and I haven’t had another one since. Part of me worries about it possibly happening again. And I do seem to have developed a fear of flying since then… Oh well! 🙂

For now, I’ve decided to take things one day at a time – riding the waves of life as they present themselves.

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